Sometimes our reality checks come t the darnedest time. The lady who always serves me at Heidi Rose asked me why I was nervous about the up coming nuptials.
It comes down to my fear of how one or two people will judge the ceremony; a Pagan Celtic hands fasting.
So why should I care? If I advocate freedom of belief why does the closed minded attitude of others matter? Maybe as I see it in myself and this scares me, sometimes walking the walk is much harder then talking any talk.
Do I need to talk it through with the people I feel will be most judgemental on the day about what the meaning of everything is? People who have bothered to get to know me know who I am and will understand. These are the people who would not have cared if I wore black on the day.
And really when it all comes down to it; if they cannot be bothered getting to know who I am why should I let their opinions bother me?
Also realised; Topic- being fired for trumped up charges still pisses me off. Issue - the grief and the grieving process associated with miscarriage is far from over. Redirection doesn't help.
So; lots to work on.
(Including not caring what others say about me and being hugely self conscious now about being dull. If I can look myself in the eye everyday that should be enough; paranoia the fear that anything you say will be twisted into something hurtful by an anonymous person.)