Saturday, December 23, 2006
My 6 for this weekend (after a fortnights break due to being so busy) is my 6 point Santa list.
1) I'd like all the Pratchett stuff I am missing; especially the books and the latest screen interpretation of on of his books: Hogfather.
2) The catch up on the James Patterson books wouldn't go astray either.
3) While we are talking books; the latest Foxtrot anthologies would be very nice.
4) New lingerie, especially undies, teddies, p'j's and bustierres.
5) Shoes: ballerina style in a range of colours. Black, 3 pair, canvas, matte and patent; Red patent; Baby Pink matte and an off white that would go with jeans in a canvas. (I have a shoe addiction and this style is the most comortable.)
6) My roster for the new year so I know when I can start working fixed hours.
On a higher note:
1) Troops out of Iraq and peace in that country.
2) Clean water for all those areas in desperate need of it.
3) An end to the drought in Australia.
4) Better funding for community aid organisations that help at a grass roots level.
5) An end to duck hunting in Australia, and the hunting of any other native creature stopped. (If you need to shoot things, take your agression out on the feral rabbits, foxes and pigs.)
6) A cure for male infertility caused by antibodies that is not going to have major side efects and will mean that more couples can conceive naturally.
Quote: John Lennon. Merry Christmas; War is over.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
'Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring,
not even a mouse.
'Cuz the cat had pounced on him
and tore him apart-
Ate his mousey intestines
And chewed up his heart.
Kitty thought he heard sleigh bells,
which made him take pause-
He stopped daintily licking
the blood from his claws.
"Must be Santa" thought Kitty
(that quite clever cat)
'Cuz nobody else climbs down
the chimney like that.
Indeed it was ol' Santa,
so jolly and fat
With a load of presents
and all for the cat!
"Wow, the best Christmas ever!"
Kitty thought with a purr,
Then he coughed up a hairball
and shed some more fur.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
The first law of Wicca though is "First, do no harm." and I think this might cause people hurt, so I can't and remain true to myself. Sometimes I think I'm as wishy washy as Charlie Brown.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
It hasn't been an easy twelve months. It was this time last year I had pretty much everything; a job I enjoyed that looked like I'd be able to pick up a few more nights, first trimester of pregnancy, my course was going well, we were in a good spot to buy a property. It couldn't of been much better.
Then the spotting started and my hormone levels dropped, we miscarried. I took time of work to come to terms with the miscarriage, on return it was alleged I had given milk to a lactose intolerant resident and therefore wasn't "reading care plans properly" and I was fired. Over the phone actually, at the time I was to be undergoing a D&C if the flow of blood hadn't started.
I started to fear that everything would go wrong so some of my marks in the first semester for the 2nd year of the course reflect that. I resumed journalling to sort my thoughts out a little more. I couldn't find "Felice's Place" to continue and didn't want to just use my live journal for releasing disappointment and hurts at this time. (Felice; Spanish for happiness, cat in Ira Levin's novel Slivers and also feminine form of Felix.) I wanted a place I could be as daggy and untogether as I could but feel safe in doing that.
As is me, I give too much information so anonymity is not something I was expecting. I like to support people and don't like sites dedicated to the denigration of others, so I stood up for someone who had made a genuine mistake and have been attacked in my little self indulgent haven... it felt like nothing could get worse.
My father getting worse (he's 81 and health issues are a big thing), his remaining siblings in palliative stages of cancer and emphysema, added a new dimension to emotional lows. The Boi's Pop (91) bouncing back and forth from ACF to hospital with increasingly worse lung conditions compounded the hurts.
It wasn't all bad; babies were born, the Boi proposed, we went to some great concerts and new friendships moved from strength to strength, and I slowly grew stronger in myself. I rediscovered my love of politics and why I ran in the first place, and dedicated myself to learning more for the next attempt.
I learnt to let go of the pains that kept me awake at night and started to channel emotions into creativity again. I rediscovered my artistic side and my poetic voice, my ways to express myself without the reworkings of others. Some of the pieces are flawed but over all I'm happy with the results. Stream of consciousness vents that have appeared in crayons are more flawed then some other pieces.
So now we are returning to IVF; in a month to be exact. I don't know how I feel about this. I'm excited but scared. Will the hormonal emotion and weight cycle begin over? Will my left ovary be easier to see? Will we be attacked by the Christian Right again because we want a child? Will we have enough eggs? Will they take?
Scared? Yes. Hopeful? Very Yes.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
The effect is caused by the Bush fires. The photo was taken at 6pm.
This shot was taken from the front porch of Bedaki Cottage at Wandiligong. Photo taken at about 6 so you can compare the effect of the fires.
I recommend that people get up there after the fires have gone and support the local economy.
Lots of fun to be had in the district; wineries, cheese shops, chocolate shops, lots of fine food.
1)The best place for GF was Myrtleford, but we found many places in Bright itself that catered for Coeliacs, vegetarians and vegans.
2) The best non food public fun had was at the Wandiligong Maze. $9 entry for adults but well worth it to support this heritage site.
3) My favourite wine was at Boynton's; the sauvignon blanc semillion. The Boi recommends the Gapstead Merlot.
4) Nicest cheeses: Milawa cheese factory. Try the chevrel. YUM!
5) Nicest Chocolate: Milawa Chocolate Shop: Chili Chocolate bits! Cinnamon Hearts! No Gluten. No peanuts.
6) Best night: Tuesday. Strip and dare poker. OK, so it's childish; but with a little imagination it can also be very adult. The idea is you lose an article every time you lose a hand. When you have no more clothes to lose you start having to perform. If you cannot perform the other person can put on an article of clothing. No dares that mean the person might get hurt. I started off getting the Boi to do some silly things before we got serious. (Silly things included "Impersonate your favourite male porn star", for which he chose a scene from Orgasmo through to "Foot massage and you can't make me laugh.") Lots of clean fun. TMI?
7) Scariest thing: Not knowing if we would need to evacuate at anytime. We didn't know when we headed up that the fires would be a risk, and as the Boi said "we would of gone anyway." I would not of changed a thing during the week away; but if I had one I could chose it would be "No fires." This goes for the state not just the region.
8) Most aggravating thing: My mother calling to ask me to stop in at the Wangaratta Woolen mills to get her some baby wool. Followed closely by it all having to end.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
This is not an attack on the Greens; I have some questions that I cannot find answers to on their site. I support the Greens for what they are trying to achieve, but my vote and heart lies elsewhere.
1) Do the Greens support Methadone as a way to reduce the number of people on Heroin? If so why. If not; do they have another option for those who want help beyond safe injection rooms.
2) Are the attacks on Garrett connected to a perception that he has somehow betrayed the Greens by supporting the party he is now a member of or an attack because he no longer is a Green but jumped ship (did a Kernot) in the hope of raising the profile of environmental issues in Australia?
3) For a group that advocates many of the same things that the Democrats do why are they dividing the vote between the two parties and not trying to reconcile the differences in a hope of gaining more power? (Historically my understanding is it has been the Democrats who open a topic in Parliament and the Greens who get the publicity; if we could harness this I feel we must surely be able to become a strong viable third party option. Is this my naivete? First person to raise the royal fucking over we got from a former member when she was leader gets tied down and talked to about Liberal policy and voting vs. selling out and being screwed over.)
4) Must you vote along party lines if you are a parliamentary member? Why?
5) Is it just media bias in the way they report the aftermath of a Green defeat or are the Greens totally unable to accept that some of the not getting people in to Parliament blame lies within the party? (As I said; this is not an attack. I feel the bias against reporting on the Dem's is costing us as much as some bull shit decision from ten years ago, so i can understand how the Greens might perceive it. I'm mostly curious.)
OK; at about this point I should probably ask someone to edit this to remove wordiness, pretty up presentation and try to reduce the poorly worded thought processes. I'm not going to as I will be away from the computer for about a week (Honeymoon and Wedding.)
The last time a political piece I wrote was edited by someone other than me it was manipulated to fit a meter that didn't exist and resulted in stanzas not making sense so I am paranoid about editors too. (Hey, you try to get attention to a party not ALP in a Labor safe seat and tell me how you'd do it? Beyond eating pies and cross promoting Jester's Pies; animal products and gluten :( prose seemed a natural choice for me, especially as I was a regular performer at the Dan Poetry on Saturday for a year or more.) The fun one site has had with the poem amuses me. (Concatenate for those curious.) Still I stand by every poorly worded line in that piece. (FUCK! I think I've just really come out of the political cupboard... still, anyone using my full name will be edited. Unfair? Yes, but I respect others right to be anonymous to their own degree, I hope others will respect mine.)
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Up for sale is one mother who insists I get my full name but contracts her own. Going cheep, well, she is an old bird.
Next item for consideration; three nervous children; very cute with early signs of stage fright. It should be OK on the day, but until then...
We had the future in-laws over to sort out table placement last night. My family plays happy family with undercurrent of animosity very well; but from the outside it's impossible to spot. We always assumed it was 7 children with very different personalities. The Boi's family have less underlying issues; but are more vocal about it. *Sigh* So table settings were fun.
One reshuffle of friends, one reposition for my family, and reorganise most of the Boi's side. This is cool. The final tables aren't far off what I wanted so I'm happy. Only one thing I'd have done differently; but that involves locking two people in a room and only letting the survivor emerge, or both when they've sorted their issues out. Family is fun.
Off to pick up dresses.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Lots of food problems; the vegan option wasn't, the gluten free wasn't, the desert was covered in peanuts. Rectifying all 3 caused more hassles than worth.
Venue shut at 1, sadly so did everything else in Richmond.
Cute guy doing raspberries in my ear and on my neck for part of night: 1.
Cute guy being someone I consider annoying little brother made this so icky; but very very funny.
Theatre restaurant performance was cliched and fan geekdom to the max; we sat there picking the movies and shows. (Head cast member came over and congratulated us on the picks as he heard some of the discussions.)
Unfortunate incidents involving body fluids: 2.
I cannot handle tequila, one shot and I threw up. (Stress, tequila and gluten not a good combination.) Splashed shoes and feet.
No toilets after everything shut so I went in an alley way. Splash on shoes and feet doubled with mysterious squelching noise under feet.
Embarrassing head wear/ hens wear: 2. One tiara, one flashing sign.
Most frequent Internet check ups: Election results, cricket score.
I had the best night. Pity the Boi wasn't there to share it.
Sleep now. Rehearsal tomorrow.
Final word to Luenig:
Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
1) Have a child.
2) Own our own home.
3) To run my own counselling practice; or to be in a place where I can earn through sales of hand crafted products.
4) Be published and paid for the piece they publish.
5) To fit the "Purple dress"; so that means I need to lose 15kg and not gain any back.
6) To be on my way to getting a degree in humanities or science.; philosophy (theosophical), literature, politics, forensics or psychology.
How I can achieve each:
1) IVF, hope and belief.
2) Find the right place and let the universe take it from there, with lots of hard work thrown in as well.
3) Get off butt and do something about it.
4) See 3; risk others criticism and send things off again; get a decent editor.
5) See 3 and 4. EXERCISE. Dietary changes.
6) Improve my skills as a writer and learn to study. Also learn how to write academically.
When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing -- then we truly live life.
When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.
Ralph Waldo Emerson:
Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it.
You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.
You are what you think about all day long.
Your goals are the road maps that guide you and show you what is possible for your life.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Our understanding is that the movie Fast Food Nation is a fictionalised thriller and features a storyline based around a fast food restaurant in the US.
Fiction? Read the book on which it is based; it is one of the better sociological impact studies written up in a manner that is easy to read and presents the information in such a way that it opens your eyes to the deeper damage done by corporations like McDonald's. It's only fictionalised in that it does not name corporations directly in the film (to my understanding; I am hoping to see it soon.)
Whilst this movie isn't about McDonald's, as so often is the case, by virtue of our size, we are the centre of debate.
Once again: READ THE BOOK! The book does not only attack McFecal Matter in Burgers but any of the corporations that actively campaign against OH&S laws in the US, primarily employ migrants with poor English and pay below poverty line wages. It is the size of McDonald's that makes it an easy target; but it's hypocrisy that makes it such an attractive one. ($1 from one product sold on one day to help the families of sick children? How much revenue does the RMCH make you each year?)
Issues important to our customers? It's important to me that if I buy a strawberry milkshake I get real strawberries and not an artificial strawberry flavour that includes nail polish remover. It's important to me that my fries aren't cooked in animal fat or coated in beef tallow so that they taste the same as they did in the 1950's. It's important that the people who serve me get a decent wage and have the right to join a union to protect their rights. AND not just in Australia but in other countries too.
We are proud of the journey we have been on over the past few years and while we don't have all the answers; we are committed to continual improvement.
Suggestions for continual improvement: Don't put meat in all your salads; especially that reconstituted kabana crap. Make gluten free products readily available beyond sundaes, shakes and chips for your main menu; and have gluten free vegetarian friendly stuff at the cafe that is not just cake or friands. Don't put adds on TV during kids programs that pay lip service to kids getting active. How about biodegradable packaging? Put back in to the community what you take out. Stop having one day a year to "Support charities" you own or better still have your one day but ALL MONEY MADE ON THAT DAY GOES TO CHARITY; and I mean Open Family or the Bronte Foundation.
I have explored your websites. I have read other material. I have made my mind up. It didn't take "Supersize Me" to make me stop eating McDonald's. It took Fast Food Nation; because I don't care too much what I do to my own body but I do care what my choices mean in relation to the welfare of others. Nope; I haven't seen the film. I've read the book. I researched the information in the book as best I could to verify it.
We have received much praise with the changes we have made but with praise comes criticism. We invite you to explore our website, check out the facts and make up your own mind.
The reality is that these movies are aimed at awakening awareness in the US market not the Australian one; but some of the practices discussed in the book upon which the film is based occur here. Sadly, people will see the film or read the book, and they'll forget it all unless an image sticks with them (mad cow disease from cows, herbivores, being fed beef; fecal matter in food products; disfigurement of workers in plants that supply the large corporations.)
Ok, I'm off to bed with hot water bottle and honey lemon drinks. (Laryngitis is now head cold that is impacting upon tempreture.) Good luck and good weather to all those marching to raise consciousness about G20. Once again Miss Politic's Australia has the information you need and has put it so well that I won't bore you with repitions.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Why can't we put in place sustainable options? Free water tanks for every home with incentives to use this water in more than the garden (Eg. rebates for plumbing it in to houses). Tougher laws on building and bathroom renovations so that houses must be able to utilise grey water somehow. Better education so people learn how to use a broom to sweep a drive and not a hose. Plant more trees (I vaguely remember something in Biology about trees and the water cycle). Use recycled water for public conveniences (flushing toilets) and fountains. Better funding for aged care facilities so you don't have to run water for half an hour to get it warm.
I don't claim to have answers, but burning another finite resource and damaging the environment in a manner that is thought to be contributing to the cause of the drought to remove salt from water doesn't make sense to me.
TWO: Rather than eliminate Zone 3 why not put money in to improving the infrastructure so that trains can run more than every half hour to places like Pakenham, Cranbourne, Lilydale and Belgrave?
THREE: If the idea of Fundamentalist Christian party Family First gaining more power is so abhorrent to so many people why not encourage support of other smaller parties; like People Power, The Greens, and my personal choice the Australian Democrats.
The Fundamentalists in the US have a huge lobby and large amounts of power over the government, they influence many humanist debates from a warped interpretation of the Bible and enforce it on people who do not hold their beliefs (I know that statement is clumsy but I hope it communicates what I mean). If you do not want to see that kind of thing increase in Australia than think about who you are really voting for?
Oh; and as pointed out by Ari Gary Pinto; former City of Dandenong Boys member (Yes folks, that's what CDB stands for); is running in Prahran for Family First. If this doesn't make you stop and think...
FOUR: If you vote the same way as your parents do, why? I have never understood this. You don't dress like them, you probably don't listen to the same music as them. So why vote like them?
If I voted like my parents I would of voted Liberal and supported the GST; I would of voted One Nation and ignored racism; I would of put in a Counsellor who thinks all Muslims and non Anglo Saxon people should be deported.... the list continues well beyond this but I think you get the idea.
FIVE: Are people so stupid that an hour after getting a voucher from a local community aid organisation for "emergency relief" they try to sell it back to the Volunteer that handed it to them at a reduced price so that they can "buy petrol" ? I know people need petrol but if you ask for food help then you get food help. If you ask for petrol vouchers then you get sent to where they are available (Often with the assistance of a free zone 3 ticket). And how much petrol do you think you'll get for $5 anyway? (We give $10 vouchers out; on the rare occasions we have them.)
OK; That feels better now. Vent over.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
It’s all about location…
1. Name two things you love about the city/town you live in: The changeable weather, Melbourne truely can have four seasons in one day. I also thinkI live in the most beautiful city. If you open your eyes in Melbourne the beauty and surprises are so apparent.
2. Name two things you dislike about the city/town you live in: It's a little bit too sports focussed. The public transport system beyond zone two.
3. Name two cities/towns you would live in if you couldn’t live where you are now: Hobart, or any part of Tasmania. Part of me would like to live in New York, but I think that this is the fantasy of the bohemian lifestyle epitomised by old movies set in Soho.
4. Are you a “true local” (born and raised) or a transplant of the city/town you live in? Melbourne girl born and bred (Thick round the middle; smart in the head. ;p )
5. Do you like to leave your city/town when you have a long weekend or do you like to stay home? I like to explore the city I live in; I love being a local tourist. I do want to see the world though.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Chuckie Finster: Over my dad's potty!
Breakfast At Tiffany's: *sigh* George Peppard looking yummy, Audrey at her most gorgeous, heart warming story, what's not to love.
Holly Golightly: He's all right! Aren't you, cat? Poor cat! Poor slob! Poor slob without a name! The way I see it I haven't got the right to give him one. We don't belong to each other. We just took up one day by the river. I don't want to own anything until I find a place where me and things go together. I'm not sure where that is but I know what it is like. It's like Tiffany's.
Paul Varjak: Tiffany's? You mean the jewelry store.
Holly Golightly: That's right. I'm just CRAZY about Tiffany's!
Holly Golightly: I'm like cat here, a no-name slob. We belong to nobody, and nobody belongs to us. We don't even belong to each other.
Practical Magic: I love chic flicks. This has to be my all time can watch on repeat and not get bored by it chick flick; close ties are Sweet Home Alabama and Just Like Heaven.
Sally Owens: All I want is a normal life.
Aunt Frances Owens: My darling girl, when are you going to understand that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage!
Pretty In Pink: Two words; John. Hughes. I'm a child of the 1980's so a list of films has to have at least one John Hughes in it. I know Breakfast Club is the better crafted story; I know St Elmo's Fire has the better plot line (and isn't a Hughes). Pretty In Pink has James Spader at his worst, Jon Cryer as Duckie, and Harry Dean Stanton. Case rests.
Duckie: You know what an older women does for me?
Iona: Changes your diapers?
Dogma: Kevin Smith. I love his humour, direction, writing, philosophy, cute little tushy and irreverence. In this he peaked. (Fuck, Underline stuck on, sorry.)
Nun: You don't believe in God because of Alice in Wonderland?
Loki: No, "Through the Looking Glass". That poem, "The Walrus and the Carpenter" that's an indictment of organized religion. The walrus, with his girth and his good nature, he obviously represents either Buddha, or... or with his tusk, the Hindu elephant god, Lord Ganesha. That takes care of your Eastern religions. Now the carpenter, which is an obvious reference to Jesus Christ, who was raised a carpenter's son, he represents the Western religions. Now in the poem, what do they do... what do they do? They... They dupe all these oysters into following them and then proceed to shuck and devour the helpless creatures en masse. I don't know what that says to you, but to me it says that following these faiths based on mythological figures ensure the destruction of one's inner-being. Organized religion destroys who we are by inhibiting our actions... by inhibiting our decisions, out of... out of fear of some... some intangible parent figure who... who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago and says... and says, "Do it - Do it and I'll fuckin' spank you. "
Metropolis: This was the irst silent film I ever saw and began a love affair I still have with the films of the 1920's. It also has a philosophy and beauty to it that haunts. My bias and pretension is to say no better science fiction film has ever been made; but that is a massive call and a can of worms I'm only willing to buy shares in not open.
I also love any Lon Chaney Snr films and the German films like Das Kabinett des Doktor Caligari. Films like The Cat and The Canary and Freaks still manage to scare me. I have as many of them as I can find on DVD. I'd dearly love A Trip To The Moon and other early shorts but do not know where to find them.
Maria: There can be no understanding between the hand and the brain unless the heart acts as mediator.
"Never underestimate the value of doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering."
-Winnie The Pooh
Friday, November 10, 2006
OK; this has been a very busy week; finishing last assignment, work, wedding, health on decline again (losing voice for second time in as many weeks)...
*starts croaking off key to "My Way"*
excuses, I've got a few,
but then again,
they've had a mention...
I've lived my life too full
I've lost the plot
Of this I'm certain...
Reality fairy stops where this is going and drags attention back to task at hand
Cough cough, um, sorry.
I won a copy of Secrets today in a "Lucky dip" as an end of class thank you from the teacher.
It's part two of "What The Bleep" according to the teacher (I thought this was Through The Rabbit Hole). I'm looking forward to watching it.
I think that it says something about the counselling course I have just finished (well, one essay and an exam to go) that we studied quantum in relation to holistic psychology and the mind-body connection. I'm not sure what it says but it says something. ;p
OK... bed time so I can be all awake for my last class for this course. And maybe for my throat to get better so I can shake the last of this "pharyngitis".
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Comments are mine; not the party I am a member of.
I don't like commenting on how other countries run themselves as I feel we only get a limited amount of information. I'm open to being told how my views are misinformed; but because I don't live in the US I would ask that people don't take my comments as US bashing (they're not) and respond to them using facts not opinions; e.g. websites with the information not just name calling. I am open to being educated.
1. Are you registered to vote? Explain why you are or are not registered to vote?
Voting is compulsory in Australia from the age of 18. I have friends that argue that enrolling to vote is an option but I have yet to find evidential data on this. So; Yes. I'm enrolled because I have too, but also because i think you cannot complain about the results of the process if you have not been a part. Its also too important a thing not to vote.
2. Did you vote early (if your state offers this) or are you voting on election day?
I'll be voting on election day; which is also my Hen's night.
3. Do you truly believe your vote counts or are you not convinced that “every vote counts”?Yes, every vote counts. Especially in a country like America, you cannot get true change until the people have a true voice. I don't think that optional voting gives a true indication of what the people in the US really think. I read somewhere that if the Black American population voted more that the US would already have its first black President, less civil rights violations and better funding for education and health rather than one of the poorest (financially) health and education systems (according to people like Bryson, Moore, and many of the more prominent sociologists).
4. Did you make up your mind about what candidates to vote for a while back or within the last two weeks?
I belong to a political party, so I know who I will be voting for. I support the Australian Democrats (completely different from the ones in US) for their policies on education, health (especially in the areas of stem cell research and mental health), women, indigenous Australians, the aged, the environment, refugees and the war. I do not support the GST; which is why I voted against the Liberal party and was hurt when one of our senators crossed the floor.
Sadly the GST furore has hurt the party deeply with a large number of people blaming the Democrats for what happened but continue to vote for the major party that implemented them. I am also aware of many cases where the Democrats have laid the ground work for a project to have it taken over by another party and given more publicity.
Voting Democrat makes sense as they are also one of the only minor parties on the left not in the hip pocket of a major party, (Labor and Greens; Liberal, Nationals and Fundamentalists First). They are also truly separate from religious influence (Think Liberals think white protestant; Labor was strongly Catholic at one point; I won't insult people over the Fundies.)
5. Compared to your parents’ views, are you voting the same as or different from them? Are you more liberal or conservative than them?
I vote differently from my parents (One is Labor, one is Nationals.) My influence comes from my father who taught me the importance of Unions and a party that gives the workers a voice; something I also feel that the Democrats do. As I grew older I realised that environmental concerns were also something I felt passionate about; so I became more politically active on these issues and then sort-of drifted into representative positions (student council, board member on various charities, etc.) I guess my left leaning attitudes make me a small l liberal.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Terry Pratchett: Small Gods.
Belief gives things shape; it is the strength of belief in a thing that makes it what it is. In Small Gods it is the strength of belief Brutha has that keeps the great god Om alive; even though Om has the largest number of people who subscribe to his religion.
Eric Maisel: The Van Gogh Blues.
This book normalised depression for me. Maisel theorises that it is the loss of meaning that results in depression in creative people. The methods he describes have allowed me to express how I am in the depression. When I miscarried I drew mothers with ghosts following them; when the first cycle IVF didn't work I painted wombs as cemeteries; poetry, photos, sketches, building, finding a new formula, writing... what ever your creative expression of self, artist or scientist, when depressed you can use that to show meaning and find meaning. See the review/ counselling piece in Crayons.
Aside: In homeopathy Post partum/natal depression is thought to be caused by the mother feeling she had meaning while pregnant but looses sight of that once the child is born. The rejection of the baby (common sign of PND)) is connected to an ill formed differentiation of the birth mother from her own mother.
Richard's Encyclopedia Volume 13, published 1958.
It had everything! Fairy stories, mythology, mind puzzles, word games, stuff that would not normally be in an encyclopaedia! As a kid I'd spend hours pouring over this one volume. The fairy tales were not dumbed down or Disney-fied. The puzzles were a challenge; and you got something new each time. My favourite page was a picture of flowers; you had to name them all. They weren't flowers in the picture though. You had two lips for tulips, a picture of row after row of corn for rose. I think I'll go visit mum and get it. I think its sitting in the garage somewhere... should save it for my kids.
Bill Bryson: Notes From A Small Island.
This book began my love affair with travel novels. I cannot afford to travel the world yet but these books let me see things I never would of known about. Ones like Holy Cow by Sarah McDonald let me see India, Lonely Planet's Smallest Countries showed me the many kingdoms that exist, (Including a few in Australia, Hutt River Province I think was one.)
I learnt how to bake from these. I'm one of the three in my social group who gets requests for food when parties are coming up. My melting moments melt on the way to your mouth; my ginger biscuits get requested most often; I was using m&ms in biscuits before they came in mini and become fashionable.
I find baking relaxing. I find substituting and experimenting so that vegans are able to eat what I make a challenge. I hate that I cannot try as I go like I used to, as not everyone wants GF biscuits and cakes. One day I'll throw recipes up somewhere. They are not health foods but heart foods, and I think that is as important.
Emily Bronte: Wuthering Hieghts
This showed me that not every book my mother told me to read was about Australia when she was a child and helped me to learn to respect others opinions. She's right; it's depressing in parts but the greatest love story. My Father gave me the love of books and taught me how they were an escape; my mother showed me the importance of reading things that make you reflect. My father taught me to read everything; my mother made sure I had practical interests; sewing, knitting, baking.
Saying: Mr Feeny, my year 12 Literature teacher, told us to memorise poems and plays. He said it would give us something to do while we were stuck far away from a book and bored.
Stacy: I believe we write our own stories. And each time we think we know the end - we don't. Perhaps luck exists somewhere between the world of planning, the world of chance, and in peace that comes from knowing that you just can't know it all. You know, life's funny that way. Once you let go of the wheel, you might end up right where you belong.
From: Little Black Book.
The innocent victims of Internet child abuse cannot speak for
But you can.
With your help, we can eradicate this evil trade.
We do not need your money.
We need you to light a candle of support
We're aiming to light at least One Million Candles by December 31,
This petition will be used to encourage governments, politicians,
financial institutions, payment organisations, Internet service
providers, technology companies and law enforcement agencies to
eradicate the commercial viability of online child abuse.
They have the power to work together. You have the power to get them to
Please light your candle at lightamillioncandles.com
<http://www.lightamillioncandles.com> or send an email of support to
Together, we can destroy the commercial viability of Internet child
abuse sites that are destroying the lives of innocent children.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Warning: This post includes Cat Blogging and Proud Owner Being Dull About Cute Acts.
The Boi cut the cat's claws tonight.
This is my take on the events:
Nutty: Hiss; Bugger off! I like long nails!
Much like me; I like my nails long and hate cutting them. We are also both fastidious about them being clean.
Bosco: Hiss; She objected I should! Rowr! Oh woe is me; how could you! *Playful attempt to disembowel Boi and claw out eyes.*
Two hours later;
Her; still ignoring us.
Him; Sitting on paws, which he never does. Also very responsive to pats from the Boi.
I must admit I respect Nutty's stubbornness more than Bosco's pat slutting.
We really should get them a scratching post to save the furniture and the cat fights.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
1. Do you celebrate Halloween? Explain: No; it's not something big in Oz. As a Pagan I celebrate a fertility festival around the spring equinox that falls close to Halloween, what some people celebrate in February. If you consider Halloween a Harvest Festival then I celebrate it in Autumn close to the Autumnal Equinox, around Easter (or Eostre's) festival. The opposite of the seasons in the Western Hemisphere applies of course.
2. Do you hand out candy and/or go door-to-door trick-or-treating?
No; but if kids came to the door I would hand out candy; double headed snakes this year.
3. What was the scariest Halloween costume you had and why did you pick out that costume?
My favourite costume was an out of work fortune teller that I wore for a y2k arArmageddon themed party. I carried a sign saying "Will predict for food". I also had a "drug tester" costume for a Sydney olOlympics theme at work in a nursing home; complete with specimen jar and badge saying "Drugs tested free". Sadly; no Halloween Costumes.
4. Do you prefer a “trick" or “treat”? Explain: Treat. 'Cos I'm nice. *grin*
5. Do you think Halloween is scarier now than it was when you were younger? Explain:Sorry; I'm not really in a situation to comment on that.
Saturday was great fun. It was also very very cold. I never made it to the Halloween party as I ended up working ridiculous hours over the weekend; being run down resulted in me being so run down as to be in recovery mode still. Lots of Boi Hugs and rest while watching "Chinese Food TV".
Kat-ism explained: Chinese Food TV is TV that satisfies while your watching it but leaves you craving real content afterwards. Pizza TV is that guilty pleasure you get from watching a show that you know has no redeemable features but you enjoy anyway. It was suggested I try to explain some of my references in case people who don't know me read this.
Back to Saturday: Meely had been in hospital all night due to dehydration. She was having a ball at her party, though, and the only sign she'd been sick was some weight loss.
I enjoyed being able to hold Mitchell for most of the day; covered in vomit and all! It was great. My mum thinks this is a sign that I am ready for kids when nappies and chuck make me cry for not having a child of my own.
I wouldn't swap the family that were at this party for anything. It took me a while to realise just how lucky I was to have them. They have proven my foundation while organising things, going through IVF, etc. In a few cases this surprised me; but I am happy to be wrong when it comes to these things.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Song One: Piggies by the Beatles.
Have you seen the little piggies
Crawling in the dirt
And for all the little piggies
Life is getting worse
Always having dirt to play around in.
Dedicated to those who feel life is about running others down to make themselves feel better.
Song Two: Kiss Me, Son Of God by TMBG.
I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage
Called the blood of the exploited working class
But they've overcome their shyness
Now they're calling me Your Highness
And a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God"
I destroyed a bond of friendship and respect
Between the only people left who'd even look me in the eye
Now I laugh and make a fortune
Off the same ones that I tortured
And a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God"
This one goes out to those who feel that what they say, no matter how offensive, cannot be wrong if they have been around for a long time and have lots of people who read them.
Song Three: Ain't No Man Righteous by Bob Dylan.
Look around, ya see so many social hypocrites
Like to make rules for others while they do just the opposite.
A song for all those people revoicing others oppinions as there own and then criticising others for doing it.
Song Four: Sex and Drugs and Rock'n'Roll by Ian Drury & The Blockheads.
Here's a little piece of adviceFor the people who blindly follow everything they read as gospel and don't think for themselves.
You're quite welcome it is free
Don't do nothing that is cut price
You know what that'll make you be
They will try their tricky device
Trap you with the ordinary
Get your teeth into a small slice
The cake of liberty
Song Five: Funk You by DAAS.
Sexual psychology fascinates me more than art or science
For all those lonely and not so lonely souls out there who explore all aspects of their nature online.
Song Six: Don't Give Up by Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush
Don't give up
cos you have friends
Don't give up
You're not beaten yet
Don't give up
I know you can make it good
What I'd like for all people to remember when the hurts others heap upon them become too much.
Quote: “If you guys are going to be throwing beer bottles at us, at least make sure they're full.” Dave Mustaine
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Whenever I am around them they are full of hugs. Josh (4) is now in Benalla with his mum and little brother Mitchell (about 3 months). I miss the playing and stuff we did when he was around the corner. He became a substitute son for me while the Boi and I were trying first time around.
As hard as the IVF is; and being around inconsiderate morons who think "SO, when are you two going to have kids?" is the height of conversational skill makes it harder; I love the time I get to spend with my grand niece and nephews. (Yep, grand; my sister is 16 years older then me; her eldest daughter is 5 years younger. My nieces and nephews are getting married and having kids.) The unconditional love they show is one of those little reminders that life is not as bad as it feels.
That's one thing that no one can take away; no matter how much they try.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
1. Two things you procrastinate the most about: Homework; as in 2 major assignments due this Friday. Going to the gym; this happens in stops and starts. The stops are hard for me to restart.
2. Two things that take priority in your time management: Spending time with my partner; in IVF you can lose sight of the other person so for me this is my biggest priority. Books; reading the latest by my favourite authors.
3. Do you usually arrive on time or late? About ten minutes early.
4. Do you get annoyed when other people arrive late or you really don’t care? I get more worried then annoyed, but I do care. With mobile phones it doesn't take much to let people know you'll be late. Ten minutes is OK but after that it starts to say that you realy don't care about other people.
5. What two things would you change/delete about your daily schedule in order for you to have more “down” time? Commercials from the shows I enjoy; TV and Radio. I'd like a genie for the housework, fairly obvious.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Nutbag (Left) was the Boi's before we met; he called her that as he thought it would be what he'd refer to her as most often. She gets Pusscat Magillicatty more often then anything else.
Bosco (Above) was abandoned by neighbours of a friend who couldn't have anymore cats at their place; so he came with name attached. He's the One Cat we are "saving" at the moment. If we hadn't taken him in he probably would of ended up at the RSPCA and euthanized. Bosco shows signs of previous abuse but is slowly coming around to us; as long as we don't touch his stomach he's fine. He gets Orange Boi more often then Bosco.
OK, so way TMI on the cats. Why? We spent the day surrounded by small children with some people making comments about "when will you be having kids" to other couples in front of us. Seriously; when will people accept not everyone wants kids or can have them? So instead of ranting unfairly about "breeders" I'll just quietly post about the cats. Once again down part of mood cycle; results in biased rants that disregard anything other than my own current preoccupation with having a child of my own.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
It comes down to my fear of how one or two people will judge the ceremony; a Pagan Celtic hands fasting.
So why should I care? If I advocate freedom of belief why does the closed minded attitude of others matter? Maybe as I see it in myself and this scares me, sometimes walking the walk is much harder then talking any talk.
Do I need to talk it through with the people I feel will be most judgemental on the day about what the meaning of everything is? People who have bothered to get to know me know who I am and will understand. These are the people who would not have cared if I wore black on the day.
And really when it all comes down to it; if they cannot be bothered getting to know who I am why should I let their opinions bother me?
Also realised; Topic- being fired for trumped up charges still pisses me off. Issue - the grief and the grieving process associated with miscarriage is far from over. Redirection doesn't help.
So; lots to work on.
(Including not caring what others say about me and being hugely self conscious now about being dull. If I can look myself in the eye everyday that should be enough; paranoia the fear that anything you say will be twisted into something hurtful by an anonymous person.)
They then decided to misquote me; which is fine. That's their right. I found the attack very funny which is why I am linking to it.
What I didn't find funny is that I have no right to defend myself as I am not "subscribed" to their site. People if you don't want honest feedback then subscription makes sense. So; as is my right as a "dull and turgid" person I chose to retort here.
The "saving one person at a time" intro comment is meant as a tongue in cheek dig at myself. Yes, I do want to make a difference... and yes that could be perceived as dull.
I do volunteer work with the "Less fortunate" in our community. I work in an industry where making everyday count is what matters and I am studying to help others over come the mental health issues that plague one in five in our society. I have run for Federal Parliament for the Democrats on the basis that they have the better policies surrounding health care and education. Yes, I have causes. WHO DOESN'T?
Next point: I've been diary writing online in one form or another for about more than a decade now (started in 1994 at Uni in Bendigo, no I cannot find the links to put them here.), so the "month old" comment is more evidence of not getting facts right. Right to expression in any creative form does not exclusive belong to legal experts, computer geeks or journalists, nor does it come from having used a forum longer than others.
A retaliatory attack on me was fair; if I respond to others for being petty then I expect a retort. To do so in a way that does not then allow people to respond or defend themselves is juvenile. What next; pull my pigtails and run away? Stick your tongue out and go nerne nerne nerner?
I am however assuming it was a tssh poster, or reader, who posted a very offensive reply to one of my previous posts under the name "Penis", which I removed because family read this. Otherwise I would not have censored that comment. The advantage of blogging is free speech.
Not free attack because someone has a different view to you; but free speech. I didn't attack you guys; I just disagreed with what was said by you and advocated a boycott. I didn't make libellous comments, I didn't disagree with your right of reply over someone's comments directed at you. I just felt it was being taken way too far and thought that if people who were offended didn't read your stuff then it might fade away. Sounds reasonable to me. If you were a company I'd recommend not buying your products, if you were a country I wouldn't visit you. If you don't like my rants, my expression of self, then feel free to boycott me; I cannot say I care.
So how about I give you something legitimate to use in your attacks?
I don't write for others; but I will admit I try to moderate my style so others can read it. If I want to voice an opinion publicly I'll phone talk back radio or post to anothers journal. Anything I write here is as much an expression of self as it is a public forum. No ones life is full on excitement. I could resort to attacking others for a blog; but this goes against beliefs I hold.
BTW The Boi suggested that I don't link the article in as it "just empowers them", if I don't though it makes me as weak as you. (Are you going to launch an attack on him now too?)
So: my "Dull and turgid" little "month old" blog is here for those who want to read it.
To everyone else; thank you for taking the time to read my rants, I'm sorry you didn't enjoy them, but hey; like you I do this for me and so that those I care about know what I am up to. You don't need to return; but please, if you feel like you want to attack me; do it openly, here. Don't hide it on a site I don't read.
Additional bit: it was pointed out that they attacked again over a post that was on procrastination; if I am so repugnant why don't they do to me what I have done (until this date) to them and IGNORE ME. This reminds me of the vitriolic flame wars at Uni. They too were pointless, anonymous and childish. They also had fall out beyond the immediate circle of those under attack. As a friend called to say, after reading all of this; "Hey, if they've taken that much offense you've obviously reflected back something they don't like in themselves." I just want to know why if I am so dull they keep returning?
Amongst the second attack was a mention in a comment about me posting an email rather than forwarding to everyone in my in box; They're now attacking a person for promoting cancer awareness? Seriously. I must say I am looking forward to an in box clogged with the "champagne" that keeps spewing forth from tssh readers. And yes, I am aware that the two linked blogs are very similar; did you even read the intro on "Crayons"?
Lives people; they are not that expensive; go get your own and then you won't need to be bored by mine.
OK, back to ignoring that they exist.
6 positives achieved this week and a saying that is positive.
If I get interest I'll explore that thing called code and begin linking in; hey this might become blog #3 in the Fur range, journal type thing number 5 for the author.
(Note to self:When did I start writing in a way intended for others to read and not just as a diary for myself? I mean, I want to be published one day but like this? *Shrug*)
1 We got a new phone so we can contact people without problems, and they can call us.
2 My sister liked the dress that I have chosen out for her; I just need to get size sorted.
3 The invites were sent and we have gotten some responses.
4 Only three essays, two exams and two rpls and I've finished my course; and I got the additional 5RPL information handed in to the person it needed to go to this week.
5 I made someone happy through a random act of kindness; I gave a lecturer an anonymous chocolate bar "chocolate fairy" style. Doing it anonymously bought me more joy then all the thanks in the world; if the few people who knew hadn't told it would of been better.
6 I was linked by one of my favourite bloggers; miss Politics; on her site. Not even the Boi has done that yet. I also think it's cool he gets more hits through me then in any other way. Small smile.
Saying: Andre Gide:
Only those things are beautiful which are inspired by madness and written by reason.
I wonder if they lived there?
For those who have just read Crayons; or may be about to; these are the lyrics to the song I refer to;
It's always cold inside the ICEHOUSE
Though the rivers never freeze
There's a girl outside the ICEHOUSE
I can see her clearly though the trees
And now she's dreaming of a new love
And she hopes he'll be there soon
But she's got so long to wait for him
Because he needs another year to get there
There's no love inside the ICEHOUSE
The devil lives inside the ICEHOUSE
At least that's what the old ones say
He came along time ago
He came here in the winter snow
Bow it's colder every day
But she's still dreaming through the summer
And she's hoping through the spring
She says she's got no time for winter nights
She doesn't notice as the days grow colder
She can't remember getting any older
There's no love inside the ICEHOUSE
And now she's dreaming of a new love
And she hopes he'll be there soon
She says she's got no time for winter nights
She doesn't notice as the days grow colder
She can't remember getting any older
There's no love inside the ICEHOUSE
There's no love inside the ICEHOUSE
At the moment I don't feel like I am outside the Icehouse (a psychiatirc hospital in Sydney) I feel like I might be stuck in the Icehouse. Sometimes the course triggers stuff in me that I don't want to own. I will not hurt myself but I am at risk of hurting others with my words and thoughts.
I wish I had the car so I could drive to a hug. It will wait; I probably just need to sleep.
I promise I won't hurt myself. I promise.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
This woman is walking the World for Breast Cancer . Please pass her on so that she can reach her destination. Say a prayer for all those who are affected by this terrible disease. She's walking around the world - via e-mail!! Pass it on so she can get there! Please hit your forward button, so the women stays animated.
* Y * 6 *Y
Please tell ten friends to tell ten today! The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "fund free mammograms" for free (pink window in the middle).
This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram in exchange for advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
It finished with : AGAIN, PLEASE TELL 10 FRIENDS TO TELL 10 TODAY meaning to forward it via email; I don't like clogging in boxes no matter how important I think something is. I also thought this might reach a wider audience. Vanity? Maybe.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
|You Scored 55% Correct|
You are a solid child of the 80s
You'd never confuse Tiffany from Debbie
And while you may not know Prince's first #1 hit
You know every word to Little Red Corvette
|Your Theme Song is Back in Black by AC/DC|
"Back in black, I hit the sack,
I've been too long, I'm glad to be back"
Things sometimes get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos.
But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last!
|You Are Grape|
You are bold and a true individual. You are very different and very okay with that.
People know you as a straight shooter. You're very honest, even when the truth hurts.
You are also very grounded and practical. No one is going to sneak anything by you.
People enjoy your fresh approach to life. And it's this honesty that makes you a very innovative person.
|You Will Die at Age 88|
Congratulations! You take good care of yourself.
You're poised to live a long, healthy life.
|You Are a Glazed Donut|
Okay, you know that you're plain - and you're cool with that.
You prefer not to let anything distract from your sweetness.
Your appeal is understated yet universal. Everyone dig you.
And in a pinch, you'll probably get eaten.
|Your Love Style is Agape|
You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner.
Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare.
You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie.
Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you.
For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.
|You Are 28% Obsessive|
You tend to have a few obsessive thoughts, but you generally have them under control.
Sometimes your worries keep you up at night, though they usually don't interfere with your life.
|You Are Lisa Simpson|
A total child prodigy and super genius, you have the mind for world domination.
But you prefer world peace, Buddhism, and tofu dogs.
You will be remembered for: all your academic accomplishments
Your life philosophy: "I refuse to believe that everybody refuses to believe the truth"
|You Are a Coy Flirt|
You may not seem like you're flirting, but you know exactly what you're doing.
You draw people in, very calculatingly, without them even knowing.
Subtle and understated, you know how to best leverage your sex appeal.
A sexy enigma, you easily become an object of obsession.
OK, better actually do some homework now.....
Or I could just wait for the Boi to get home and watch House....
1. The perfect autumn day and what activities you enjoy.Perfect Autumn day: warm (low 20's), slightly overcast, picnic at the park. Dinner in front of TV with movies. Cuddling up with the Boi. Just basically time spent with the Boi not doing anything huge, just being together.
2. Two things about yourself that make you different from everybody else:
My use of language; my eyes.
3. The last time you laughed really hard and why:
Reading Calvin and Hobbes the other day I laughed so hard I couldn't breath.
4. Two items of clothing that best represents who you are:
My burgundy Hippy style dress; it's long, flows nicely and is a little bit sexy while being totally not revealing. My tiny T's, they let me say what I want without it being too forceful (and as the Boi says; they make my breasts look good; hey, we can all be shallow when we want!)
5. Yourself as others see you and how you see yourself:
I see myself as slightly too curvaceous, seriously insecure but learning to love the image in the mirror. I am spiritual and sensual, sexual while not being cheap. I'm Gothic, a Hippy, a Boho Chic, a Beatnik, politically aware while being totally oblivious to how things run, ethically conscious while advocating each their own but do no harm. A witch, a bitch, bisexual, conservative but out there; loud and proud but hiding my real self.
Others; I don't know. These are some quotes from a survey I did for my counselling course:
your strength of character - you are always you - you don't feel theOr this by a former Boi;
need to pretend to be something you are not just to fit in with the
people you are with. This is in no way compromised by dressing down when
you do democrat stuff or visiting parents, in fact its heightened IMO
(humble or otherwise).
your intellect - you are highly intelligent, well read and you have an
amazing ability to retell information in your own way, which makes it
not only interesting to listen to, but also attainable to the less
bright of our society who need this information.
you are so easy to talk to and non judgemental. I
have always found you innately easy to talk to and never judgemental at
your trustworthiness and discretion - I always know that if I entrust
you with something that is personal or that is a secret, that it wont go
any further add to that your ability to always find the right thing to
say to smooth something over when trusted information has been let out,
out of turn.
you are fun
You have a deep commitment to your friends and family. You really knowA family perspective:
how to look after people. You would make a top notch nurse because of
that. They don't have to be people you know, but with people you know
you take that caring to the next level.
I think that anything else I'd say would come back under this umbrella.
Oh, but you're smart. You're poetic. Passionate. Completely untethered
by what the crowd thinks you should do. This IVF thing shows great
bravery too. You're also really cute :)
Good Listener.....True Friend...... Amiable.........Willing to give aSo: that sees me out for today's Tuesday Twosome; a day late, hey, I was busy!
hand.............. Patient........Able to put up with a lot
but a few that come to mind